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Aging
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MrOwl |
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Registered Member #13568 Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM : Posts: 1319
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God's Plan for Aging? Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember its God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath. Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older #9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted. #7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do here, today, may be a burning issue somewhere else, tomorrow.
Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.
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Tlingit |
Wed Feb 07 2018, 10:29AM |
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Kaagwaantaan Tlingit Registered Member #14258 Joined: Tue Jun 20 2017, 09:19PM : Posts: 118
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All make sense to me, especially #4 lol. Sage words.
Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you don't understand. |
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MrOwl |
Sun Feb 25 2018, 10:46AM |
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Registered Member #13568 Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM : Posts: 1319
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GETTING OLDER A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.."
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Meridian Idaho Weather
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MrOwl |
Sun Feb 25 2018, 10:49AM |
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Registered Member #13568 Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM : Posts: 1319
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper... it's worse when you forget to pull it down.
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Meridian Idaho Weather
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MrOwl |
Sun Feb 25 2018, 04:05PM |
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Registered Member #13568 Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM : Posts: 1319
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Thank goodness I'm not to that point!
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Meridian Idaho Weather
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MrOwl |
Fri Jun 29 2018, 02:40PM |
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Registered Member #13568 Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM : Posts: 1319
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I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, So I got my doctor's permission to Join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.
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Meridian Idaho Weather
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McCall Idaho Weather
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MrOwl |
Fri Jun 29 2018, 02:40PM |
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Registered Member #13568 Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM : Posts: 1319
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I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?" And that, my friend, is the sad definition of "OLD".
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Meridian Idaho Weather
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McCall Idaho Weather
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Delj |
Fri Jun 29 2018, 03:18PM |
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Registered Member #905 Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM : Posts: 2040
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I know that I am aging! Everything hurts except for the parts that no longer work!
To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell. |
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Moderators: Craig (KJ6BCM), ©ammy, Lumbe® Jill, Mtn.goat John, Debbie Doodah, ***SCM ALERT***, Benny (N6BWX), Socalmountains Admin, ***WX ALERT***
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***SCM ALERT***Feb 16 : 09:15pmBIG BEAR NO STRUCTURE FIRE. MISTAKEN ID. CANCELLING RESPONSE.
***SCM ALERT***Feb 16 : 09:11pmBIG BEAR UNITS ON SCENE REPORTED STRUCTURE FIRE AURORA ROAD IN BIG BEAR LAKE - NOTHING SHOWING - UNITS INVESTIGATING
***SCM ALERT***Feb 16 : 09:00pmTYPE: STRUCTURE FIRE AREA: BIG BEAR LAKE 393XX AURORA RD - BBLC X CIENEGA RD/NO X-STREET UNITS: ME281 BC2805 ME282 ME283 MA281 MA282A CLOCK10E LPTAC9 BFAALL FEDCOM More Info: Click HereLive Scanner: Click Here
***WX ALERT***Feb 16 : 08:30pmWINTER WEATHER ADVISORY HAS BEEN UPGRADED TO A WINTER STORM WARNING NOW IN EFFECT THROUGH EARLY MONDAY MORNING. Expecting scattered snow showers tonight through Sunday morning with snowfall increasing in coverage and intensity Sunday afternoon & night. Snowfall amounts of 4-8" are likely above 4,000 feet with around a foot or more "possible" above 5,000 feet. We will also experience frigid temperatures with chill values below zero Sunday night. Travel is not recommended during this time. If you do have to travel, plan ahead, carry extra food, water & warm clothing in the event you become stranded and carry your chains. Check regular updates @bensweather [Click Here]
***SCM ALERT***Feb 16 : 08:03pmThanks for the heads up NannyBear... Maybe a little snow tonight before the bigger snow storm tomorrow afternoon/evening. NWS has gone as far as issuing a Winter Storm Warning for tomorrow. Never seems to end around here this year 
NannybearFeb 16 : 07:42pmVery icy in spots, just got to erwin from summit. Cars slipping and sliding. If coming up, watch out.
ChattieKathieFeb 16 : 07:34pmIDK: I think you need a Pelican. lol!
holeinbowFeb 16 : 07:25pmIDK: chains required, whips optional?
riosantaanarancFeb 16 : 06:37pmThe 3.5 'bed tax' must be a local thing in Big Bear. Nobody's sent us a bill. The only tax we pay is the Lodging Tax to SB County.
IDKnothinFeb 16 : 06:19pmYou know they are heavy. I’ve been carrying them around for weeks now. People ask me, “What’s that?” I say Ben told me to carry chains. Can I just keep ‘em in the trunk of my chicken?
Benny (N6BWX)Feb 16 : 05:55pmBut we could see a few snow showers or flurries this evening. Roads getting icy once again as temps drop so drive safe and ALWAYS carry chains. Can't say that enough but people still don't seem to get it.
Benny (N6BWX)Feb 16 : 05:54pmMike we have a couple waves coming through, a weak front overnight with the potential for a couple inches. The stronger system rolls in tomorrow afternoon into Monday morning. That storm brings the potential for around a half a foot or more. Full details [Click Here]
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