Current Weather @ 00:59 AM Clear skies Temp 45.1º Humidity 81% Winds NNW 0.0mph Max Gust 0.0mph
Todays Extremes High 47.5º Low 45.1º Rain 0.00" Rain Rate 0.000" per hr Snow 0.00" Season 0"
LATEST ALERTS (whats this?)
None at this time
Welcome
Username:

Password:


Remember me

[ ]
[ ]
ROADS AND TRAFFIC
Updated: 12:45 AM
Big Bear to Highland (330): 50 mins  
Highland to Big Bear (330): 51 mins  
Big Bear to Mentone   (38): 62 mins  
Mentone to Big Bear   (38): 64 mins  
Big Bear to Lucerne    (18): 33 mins  
Lucerne to Big Bear    (18): 34 mins  
=Light  =Moderate  =Heavy Traffic
Online
Guests: 260, Members: 0 ...

most ever online: 1532
(Members: 36, Guests: 1496) on Jul 06 : 02:54pm

Members: 5153
Newest member: Rockwood
Support this Site!
Socalmountains is primarily supported by user donations. Donate now to help keep this site going. Click here to donate by Credit Card or PayPal. Any amount is greatly appreciated!
Member's Birthdays:

Upcoming Birthdays:
Sep 22 KK
Sep 23 Luna
Sep 24 YOMAYNARDONE
Sep 24 BlueSideUp
Sep 25 Stephen
Sep 26 Lucy
Forums
Socalmountains.com :: Forums :: JOKES & FUNNY/STUPID STORIES
<< Previous thread | Next thread >>   

Aging

Author Post
MrOwl
Wed Feb 07 2018, 08:08AM Email Thread Print View

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1105
God's Plan for Aging?

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember its God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do here, today, may be a burning issue somewhere else, tomorrow.

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.


----------------------------
Meridian Idaho Weather

[Click Here]

Back to top
Tlingit
Wed Feb 07 2018, 10:29AM

Kaagwaantaan Tlingit
Registered Member #14258
Joined: Tue Jun 20 2017, 09:19PM
:
Posts: 110
All make sense to me, especially #4 lol. Sage words.

Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you don't understand.
Back to top
MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 10:46AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1105
GETTING OLDER

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is
marked 'NO REFILLS'.."


----------------------------
Meridian Idaho Weather

[Click Here]

Back to top
MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 10:49AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1105
First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when you forget to pull it down.


----------------------------
Meridian Idaho Weather

[Click Here]

Back to top
Craig (KJ6BCM)
Sun Feb 25 2018, 03:55PM

Total Eclipse 2017 Casper WY

Joined: Fri Aug 18 2006, 05:50PM
:
Posts: 10911


LA Owl wrote ...

First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when you forget to pull it down.




Winter can leave now... Lets try to get above 50 degrees???
Back to top
MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 04:05PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1105
Thank goodness I'm not to that point!

----------------------------
Meridian Idaho Weather

[Click Here]

Back to top
MrOwl
Fri Jun 29 2018, 02:40PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1105
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

So I got my doctor's permission to

Join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,

By the time I got my leotards on,

The class was over.


----------------------------
Meridian Idaho Weather

[Click Here]

Back to top
MrOwl
Fri Jun 29 2018, 02:40PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1105
I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"



And that, my friend, is the sad definition of "OLD".


----------------------------
Meridian Idaho Weather

[Click Here]

Back to top
Delj
Fri Jun 29 2018, 03:18PM
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
:
Posts: 1914
I know that I am aging!
Everything hurts except for the parts that no longer work!

To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
Back to top

Moderators: Craig (KJ6BCM), ©ammy, Lumbe® Jill, Mtn.goat John, Debbie Doodah, ***SCM ALERT***, Benny (N6BWX), Socalmountains Admin, ***WX ALERT***

Jump:     Back to top

Powered by e107 Forum System
Chatbox
You must be logged in to post comments on this site - please either log in or if you are not registered click here to signup


Mtn.goat John
Sep 20 : 07:35pm
It was a hit and run with the fleeing male driver being injured in the first impact. He hit a number of other vehicles along the way in multiple locations. Ended up in custody and being transported for treatment.

Quakes
Sep 20 : 07:23pm
It must have been quite a bad accident. The sirens were blaring for 20 minutes.

***SCM ALERT***
Sep 20 : 06:47pm
TYPE: TRAFFIC ACCIDENT AREA: LAKE ARROWHEAD TIROL LN / WEST SHORE RD - LAA X UNITS: ME92 ME94 MA91
More Info: Click Here
Live Scanner: Click Here

***SCM ALERT***
Sep 20 : 05:38pm
FOREST SERVICE ON SCENE VEG FIRE 7 OAKS - 2 BY 2 FOOT SPOT - CAN HANDLE - CANCEL ALL OTHER UNITS

***SCM ALERT***
Sep 20 : 05:37pm
FOREST SERVICE IS IN THE AREA OF REPORTED VEGETATION FIRE - 7 OAKS - SO FAR UTL - PUTTING A HOLD ON THE AIRCRAFT

***SCM ALERT***
Sep 20 : 05:34pm
Not seeing anything on the San G cam but 7 oaks is a bit out of the frame of that camera...

Casadelgado
Sep 20 : 05:33pm
Razz, that is the one I meant. We were only looking at the flashing lights. Then got home and that fire is about 1/2 mile up our street from us. Glad we weren't home.

***SCM ALERT***
Sep 20 : 05:30pm
FULL MULTI-AGENCY RESPONSE TO A REPORTED VEGETATION FIRE AT THE ENTRANCE TO 7 OAKS RESORT OFF GLASS ROAD IN BARTON FLATS

***SCM ALERT***
Sep 20 : 05:30pm
TYPE: VEGETATION FIRE AREA: BARTON FLATS SEVEN OAKS RESORT - BFL SEVEN OAKS RESORT - 39950 GLASS RD X UNITS: BC148 BC128 BP98 WT99 BE9 ME96 ME283 BE282 GHC15-1 C6-1 VHFTAC
More Info: Click Here
Live Scanner: Click Here

Airport Razz
Sep 20 : 03:44pm
When I went by, only 1 car left in center, going onto flatbed. lady sitting in EPL parking lot with a couple of dogs. Ambulances gone already. Someone has a bad headache from the condition of the windshield. No seatbelt maybe? And now a medical run around the corner. Anyone around me RUN!!!!!!!! lol. Or take me to Vegas and bet opposite what I do.

Airport Razz
Sep 20 : 03:42pm
Fortunately Benny wasn't involved in either incident, just caught up in the aftermath. Seemed like my 'gremlin' had branched out there for a bit . Casa, the head-on was the one in front of El Polo Loco. Enough damage that there was some speed, and probably someone not paying attention.

Casadelgado
Sep 20 : 02:51pm
Airport, was that head on by the school and Dr. Almarez'? We drove into Big 5 and it really looked bad. Had to be at least 10 minutes before the ambulances took off, two of them. Was looking for some follow up here too.

Benny (N6BWX)
Sep 20 : 02:45pm
Sorry about that Razz, glad you're ok! I posted a few more pics of the fires aftermath... [Click Here]

Airport Razz
Sep 20 : 01:35pm
Rough afternoon. What looked to be a head-on in the center lane followed by a major structure fire. Time to go home and hide

***SCM ALERT***
Sep 20 : 12:45pm
Couple pics on the incident page as well... [Click Here]



(C)2002-2018 Socalmountains.com
All Rights Reserved
Privacy Policy Terms of Service
Contact Us

{THEMEDISCLAIMER}